Why am I bipolar?
I have thought for the past 24 years since my diagnosis I am bipolar of what is the ‘why’ that I am bipolar. After struggling to understand following observing my life from my 20’s thru my 60’s It is clear to me it’s genetic. Inasmuch as I am the ‘poster child in my family’ nearly all of the 8 kids in my family deal with bi-polar and depression. ( two are unmediated bi-polar). One is perfectly fine . That’s 7 of 8 children. My mother dealt with depression but was not aware of it until she hit menopause. I am sure the stress of raising 8 kids had her depressed at times however she found her solace in going upstairs and reading . Being a depression baby there was not only no understanding in that society that this was a treatable illness. Of course there were reasons why her life was stressful both economically and how to equally love 8 kids.
My mother was singularly the most intelligent person I have known. Both she and my Dad raised a large family of highly intelligent children. Of which, according to my syblings over years since my 20’s Continued to say that I was the smartest one in my family. My response was I achieve professional success because I work hard or noooo Johnny is a walking library his memory for facts is outstanding . Well, after many decades of my syblings saying I was the brightest in my family about 8 years ago I said. Ok you may be right.
When I was deeply depressed I felt I was a fraud and figured out how to manage social situations so no one would know. On the other end of the spectrum I was so empowered I felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. Both professionally and personally I did just that.
Net net in my opinion bi-polar is genetic and filled with many intelligent minds. Interesting fact my psychiatrist agrees.
We try to understand the what is going on and we strive for success putting one foot in front of the other no matter how hard it was .
Depression I am not sure. It may be situational. How you were raised to prepare you for the adult world or physiological. In America, depression kicks in for many during their change from adolescence to an adult. I have read it typically happens in women at about 14-16.
As I get older into my ‘twilight years’ I feel very lucky I have made it through the hills and valleys. Today, despite my current economic situation I say ‘every day when I wake up and my feet hit the ground is a GREAT day- and I go from there. This is working as I struggle maneuvering through life.